Es Pennsilfaanisch Deitsch Eck
(Originally published in the February 4, 1987 issue of The Shopping News)
EN GROSSER VENDU IM WISSESAAL
By David Hornberger
Der Ed Weber un sei Fraa wuhne nau an die Landis Daal Heemet. Letscht Munet hen sie Vendu gemacht un des waar en grosser. Der Ed is seller Kall as Gedichde schreibt fer’s Deitsch Eck. Er heest sich “der Weiss Kopp.”
Ich hab sei Vendu-Zeddel gsehne un hab gsehne as er viel deitschi Bicher hot. Not hawwich gemeent, ich daed gleiche sie kaafe. Friedaags bin ich gange fer die Bicher begucke. Ich bin gange zu die Dier un hab die Fraa gfrogt, eb ich der “Solly Holsbock” Buch sehne kennt. Not hot sie mich hinnenaus ins Feld gnumme un hot mir der “Holsbock” gwisse – sie hot mich letz verschtanne!
Der Ed waar net so gsund; er is yuscht en paar Daag davor heem kumme vum Grankhaus.
Well, not sin mir e wennich rumgedappt un hen em Ed sei Handwaricksgscharr aa beguckt. Datt waar en gschpassichi heem-gemachdi Drehbank im Hof gschtanne. Die hot en Zeddel druff ghat: “Die hot en glicklicher Fehler: Sie laaft zu langsam.” Not sin mir ins Haus gange. Ich hab mich bekannt gemacht mir em Ed, mit em “Weiss Kopp.” Mir hen en wunderbaar gudi Blauderei ghat un er hot mir viel scheeni Sache gwisse.
Sell “Solly Holsbock” Buch waar yuscht was ich hab welle; selli sin hatt zu finne. Der Solly hot wunderbaari gschpassichi Gedichde gschriwwe. An der Vendu hawwich zu viel bezaahlt fer des Buch, awwer ich hab schun mei Geld waert aus em grickt. Sell Gschpass gebt em die Gsundheit.
Am Samschdaag bin ich frieh uffgschtanne un hab mich reddy gmacht fer en nasser Daag am Vendu. Awwer sie hen en gross Zelt uffgeduh ghat. Not bin ich rum gedappt im Regge mit en Umbrell un Gammschuh. Ich hab widder alles beguckt. Glei hawwich e wennich Mariye-Esse grickt un der Vendu is aagfange.
Die Groiere waare Randall Kline, Lloyd Kreider un der Roy Good. Ei, yei, yei! Hen sie awwer gegroiert! Ebmols waare zwee uff eemohl am groiere. Mer hot alli Satt Mensche sehne kenne am Vendu. Ich bin datt gschtanne un hab sie moll schtudiert. Mer kann viel lanne vun sellem. Wu die Leit am Glaage waare weyich dem hesslich Wedder, hen sie rumgschtane mit lange Gsichder. Not waar en yungi Fraa dat in der Kich, in der Scheier, im Hof un aa im Zelt. Sie waar wunderbaar frehlich. Wu sie waar, hen die Leit gelacht die ganzi Zeit. Wu sie waar, waare die Leit am Schwetze. Ich hab’s Watt “schmunsle” gheert. Ebber hot gsaat: “Die Welt is schmunslich!”
Ich bin an der Vengu gange mit dem Gedanke: Ich kaaf em Ed sei gude deitsche Bicher. Awwer die Versuching waar zu gross un ich hab aa en ganz Latt annri Sach kaaft. Un ich hab aa en “Friedeopfer” heem gnumme fer die Fraa – en scheener Debbich. (Des hot mich aus em Hundshaus ghalde! – Es sin ennhau zu viel Fleeh im Hundshaus!)
Ich will hoffe as der Ed un sei Fraa es gleiche an der Landis Daal Heemet, wu sie nau wuhne. Nau hot “der Weiss Kopp” viel Zeit fer Gedichde schreiwe un sei neie Bekanntschaft freelich mache.
Em “Weiss Kopp” sei Vendu waar noch vun de alt Satt. Ich hab gemeent sei viele Freind daede gleiche e wennich lese vun seim Vendu.
Macht’s gut!
Der alt Brofessor Brotfresser
***
A BIG SALE IN MEADOW VALLEY
Ed Weber and his wife are now living in the Landis Valley Home. Last month, they had sale and it was a big one. Ed is the fellow who writes Dutch poems for the Dutch Eck. He calls himself “White Head.” – I saw the sale bill and noticed many Dutch books. I thought I’d like to buy them. On Friday, I went to have a look at the books. I went to the door and asked the lady whether I might look at the “Solly Holsbock” book. She took me out back and showed me the saw-buck! – she had misunderstood me. (P.G, “Holsbock” = English saw-buck) – Ed was not so well; he had just returned from the hospital. – Well, we wandered about and examined Ed’s tools. In the yard there was a funny lathe. On it was a sign: “A successful failure, it runs too slow.” Then we went into the house. I introduced myself to Ed. We had a marvelous conversation and he showed me many beautiful things. – That “Solly Holsbock” book was just what I wanted; they are hard to find. I paid too much for the book at the sale the next day, but I’ve already gotten my money’s worth out of it. – On Saturday, I got up early and got ready for a wet day at the sale. But they had erected a large tent. I walked around in the rain with an umbrella and overshoes. I looked at everything again. Soon I ate some breakfast and the sale began. – The auctioneers were Randall Kline, Lloyd Kreider and Roy Good. My, how they auctioneered! Sometimes two at the same time. One sees all kinds of people at a sale. I stood there and studied them. The people stood about with long faces and complained about the weather. But there was a young woman in the kitchen, in the barn, in the yard and in the tent who was in good spirits. Where she was, everyone was laughing. I heard the word “schmunsle” (to smile). Someone said: “The world is smiling.” – I went to the sale with the notion: I’ll buy Ed’s good Dutch books. But the temptation was too great and I bought many other things. And I took a peace offering home for my wife – a beautiful quilt. (This kept me out of the doghouse! – There are too many fleas in the doghouse!) – I hope that Ed and his wife are enjoying themselves at the Landis Valley Home. Now “White Head” has more time to write poems and entertain his new friends. – Ed’s sale was one of the old kind. – I just thought his many friends might like to read a bit about his sale.
Best regards!
Old Professor Breadeater
***
Last October 16, Dave Hornberger of West King Street in “Effredaa” penned this vivid description of his experiences at Ed Weber’s sale in Meadow Valley. The envelope was postmarked on October 18 and this column was written on October 22. It emerges from the hopper this week.
Since it’s been some time since “Der alt Brofessor Brotfresser” has submitted a contribution to the ECK, we typed up this column without delay. Somehow, we have the impression that “der alt Brofessor” specializes in wet sales. And such weather seems to loosen his purse-strings. Anyone ready to pass the hat for “der alt Brofessor?” Should anyone be planning a sale on a rainy day, be sure to invite “der alt Brofessor!”
Gross Dank, Daavid! Again our winterized “deitscher Schtrohhut” is raised in salute! (Last summer we met an Amishman near Winesberg in Ohio, who also wears his straw hat all year round. Des fangt vielleicht en neier Fashion aa!!!)
February 4, 1986
En Bischli-Gnippli
as schun zu viel deitschi Bicher hot
(Frog die Bischlin-Gnipplin!)