Es Pennsilfaanisch Deitsch Eck
(Originally published in the December 4, 1985
issue of The Shopping News)
Deitsch From The Ephrata Nursing Home
Recorded by Ellen Ingham
Spring, 1985
Vadder Unser
(The Lord’s Prayer)
Iwwer der Rewwer un darich der Busch,
Zu em Grossvadders Haus wolle geh!
Der Gaul wees der Weg
Unne Ausgeleg,
Darish der weiss, geblose Schnee.
Vadder unser, der du bischt im Himmel, geheilichet werde dein Naame, dein Reich koinmet, dein Wille geschehe im Himmel als auch wie uff Erden, unser taeglich Brot gib uns heiti, vergib uns unsere Schulden als auch wir vergeben unsere Schuldichen, Fiehr uns nicht in Versuchung, sondern erlees uns vun den Beesen, denn dein is das Reich, un die Graft un die Harrlichkeit bis in Ewichkeit. Aamen.
Ed Adams, 99
***
Die Sau not Gnepp
En Bauer hot about en halb Meil vum Schteddel weck gewuhnt un er hot die ganzi Woch hatt gschafft un Samschdaag oweds is er als noch em Schteddel. Sie hen’s “der Greitzweg” gheese. No hen sie Kaarde gschpielt un gedrunke un’s letscht is er wennich wuuse warre. No is er gschtart fer heem un wie neecher as er heem kumme is, de meh as er gsoffe is warre. Er hot en Schrohschtock vanne in seim Scheierhof ghat, wie die Bauere ghat hen selli Zeit. Er hot’s nimmi gemacht, is noch in der Scheierhof kumme, hot’s umgemacht am Schtrohschtock, hot sich hiegelegt uns is eigschloofe.
Darich die Nacht is die alt Sau, die alt Loos, zu kumme, hot sich zu ihm gelegt. No wu er mariyets halwer wacker warre is, in seim Schlammber hodder niwwer gelangt un hot an dare alde Sau am Bauch nunner gfaahre, hodder gsaat, “Memm, ich hab net gewisst as du zwee Roihe Gnepp an die Nightgown hoscht!”
Buttons On The Sow’s Nightgown
A farmer, who was a hard working man, went to town every Saturday night. There he played cards, drank a bit much, and when it was going towards midnight, he started for home. And he walked, of course. He had a strawstack in front of his barnyard and he was so tight he fell asleep and didn’t even make it to the house. He laid down beside the strawstack and fell asleep. During the night, one of the old female pigs came and laid down beside him. Then, towards morning, when he got half awake, he put his hand down the sow’s belly. He said, “Mom, I didn’t know you had two rows of buttons on your nightgown!”
***
Smokestown
Die Leit welle all wisse ferwas mei Blatz “Smokestown” heest. Well, ich kann eich saage ferwas: Sie hen all Holzoffe un sie brenne Holz.
(Sie hen Holzeffe. That’s woodstoves. That’s why they call it “Smokestown,” because they burned wood.)
“Des is die Edith Schpecht vun Schmokestaun. Schnitz un Gnepp, die ess ich nett, die Riewe sin so siess, un die Bauerebuwe, die boss ich net, sie hen so grossi Fiess.” (This is Edith Specht of Smokestown. Snitz and dumpling I do not eat, turnips are so sweet, and the farmers’ boys I do not kiss, they have such very big feet.)
Schnitz un Gnepp un Seideschpeck,
Des macht die alde Weiwer fett.
(Snitz and dumpling and bacon
makes the old women fat.)
Heeli, heeli, Hinkeldreck,
Bis mariye frieh is alles aweck,
(Heal, heal, chicken droppings,
By tomorrow morning all is well.)
***
Two Versions Of An Irishman-Farmer Anecdote
Es waar en Bauer, er hot en Nochber grickt un er hett gegliche en Esel hawwe. No hot der Bauer gsaat, er soll en Karebs uffpicke im Feld un heem nemme un an so en Zeit kummt en Esel raus. Die Karebs hot verbroche un sis en Haas raus gschprunge un der Bauer hot gsaat, “Whoa! Whoa!” Awwer der Haas hot net gschtoppt. No hot der Bauer gsaat, “Geh ahead, du bischt zu schwift fer’n Blug ennihau!”
There was an Irishman who was hired on a farm. There were plenty of pumpkins on the farm. The Irishman asked what they were and the farmer replied, “These are mule eggs. If you take them over here on the knob and set on them for four or five days, you’ll have some mules.” The Irishman was sitting on a pumpkin until he got tired of it and he gave the pumpkin a kick. It rolled into a neighboring field where it frightened a big rabbit. The Irishman shouted, “Come back here! I’m your mother!”
Another ending: “Whoa! Whoa! Wait a minute!” But finally in resignation he said, “Go ahead, you’re too fast for a plow anyhow!”
***
On August 28, a neat little “Bexli” reached us from the Ephrata Nursing Home. Inside was a letter from Ellen Ingham and a tape cassette. Ellen’s letter informed us that she had made a tape last spring with some of the Dutch-speaking residents of the Home. She informs us that two-thirds of the guests there are fluent in the Mudderschprooch. She listed the following names as being the “stars” of the recording session: Ed Adams from Berks County, who is 99; Milt Romig from the Ephrata area, who is 85; and Edith Specht from northern Lancaster County, who is 91 years young.
We hope that by the time this ECK appears, we will have had an opportunity to have visited with the good Dutch folks in the Ephrata Nursing Home. If possible, we would like to make an ALDE KUMMRAADE broadcast tape with them.
So this week our neier Deitscher Schtrohhut is raised in a mighty salute to the Dutch men and women in residence in the Ephrata Nursing Home, graad in de Mitt vun Effredaa!
December 4, 1985
Yuscht en Bischli-Gnippli
as sie Heemet in de Millerschtadt hot