Es Pennsilfaanisch Deitsch Eck

(Originally published in the January 9, 1985 issue of
The Shopping News) 

Uff Der Raguune Yacht
By Paul B. Horning 

Der Sam Droschdel waar en eifericher Raguune Yaeger un waar en Glied vun der Ludderische Karich am Schtee Barig. Do waar en zimmlicher alder Parre un daer hot oft bsucht bei em Sam. Es waar gsaat as der Parre hot oft bsucht beim Sam, weil die Lucy, em Sam sei Fraa so en guder Disch bereit hot.

Mol ee Mundaagowed an Nachtesse Zeit is der Parre uff Bsuch kumme, un die Lucy hot en Raguune Bottboi gekocht ghat. Der Parre hot gemeent des waer en Haase Bottboi un des hot ihm so gut gschmackt as er paar Deller voll gesse hot. Er hot gsaat, “Es is ewwe nix besser as en Haase Bottboi im Schpotyaahr!” Der Sam un die Lucy hen bissel gschmunselt, awwer hen sich net verschnappt.

Noch em Nachtesse saagt der Parre, “Sam, es hot mich schun oft gegluscht fer mol mit dir geh Raguune yaage. Ich wees as du acht gewwe daedscht uff mich un ich wees as du oft gehscht yaage un bischt bekannt im Barig.”

“Ya, well,” saagt der Sam, “ich zehl geh de Mittwoch Owed wann’s Wedder schee is un du kannscht gewiss garn mitgeh.”

So wie ausgemacht, waar der Parre ewwe datt in blendi Zeit. Der Sam hot en Coleman Laddann ghat un hot en Kohleel Laddann aagschteckt un hot die em Parre gewwe zu draage, so as er sehne kann, wu er hielafft. So sin sie noch em Barig gange un in baut en Schtund hen die Hauns en Gschpo gfunne un gegautzt. Die Yacht waar im Gang!

Der Sam waar gwehnt im Busch schpringe, awwer der Parre waar net un er is paarmol gfalle un hot sei Schinbeh verschunne an me Felse. Die Hauns sin als schtariyer gschprunge fer dem Raguun nooch un der Sam hot sich dabei ghalde, awwer der Parre waar ewwe ganz hinnedraa. Der Sam hot gewaart bis der Parre zu gleich waar, no saagt er, “Ich will denne Hauns nooch geh bis sie der Raguun uff en Baam schprenge. Du kannscht mei Licht sehne un kannscht dich nooch schaffe.”

“Ya, well,” saagt der Parre, “ich nemm mei Zeit dazu un schaff mich so langsam nooch.” Awwer wie eifericher as die Hauns geyohlt hen, wie eifericher is der Parre warre. Uff eemol sehnt der Sam as meh Helling im Busch waar. Wie er zerick guckt, sehnt er as em Paare sei Laddann datt im Laab leit un es Laab waar am Brenne. Er is gschwind dohie gschprunge un hot die Flamm ausgschlaage mit seim Rock, awwer er hot nix gsehne vum Parre. Iwwerdem heert er der Parre vun so bei zwansich Fuuss drowwe im me Keschde Baam. “Kumm runner,” sagt der Sam, “un verzehl mir was es do gewwe hot.”

“Ei,” saagt der Parre, “ich ben iwwer en Schtumbe gfalle, hab mei Hosse verrisse un hab mei zwee Gnie verschunne. Wie ich den Baam do nuff kumme bin, wees ich net un wees aa net wie widder runner kumme!”

“Nau harrich uff mich,” saagt der Sam. “Duh die zwee Aarem um der Baam rum un heeb fescht. No loss dich so langsam runner rutsche.”

“Ya, well,” saagt der Parre, “un nau kummt’s mir ei as ich aa seller Weg ruffkumme bin, awwer wie ich nuffzus gerutscht bin, wees ich net.”

Der Parre waar am Ziddere mit Engschde. Endlich is der Sam nuff gegraddelt un hot der Parre fescht grickt mit die zwee Fiess. “Nau,” saagt er, “heeb dich fescht mit de zwee Aarem un ich zieg dich runner.”

Glei waare sie widder alle zwee uff em Bodde. Die Hauns waare weit ab am Uffgautze un der Parre waar am Ziddere in me kalde Schwitz. Der Sam waar innerlich bissel versucht, awwer sie hen der Raguun un die Hauns im Schtich gelosst un der Sam hot der Parre heem gfaahre im Parre seiner Fuhr. Der Parre waar zu zidderich fer faahre.

Wie sie heem kumme sin, waar em Parre sei Fraa bees un hot ihn graad ins Bett geh gemacht. Der naegscht Mariye is sie zum Sam kumme un hot ihm verzehlt as der Parre im Bett bleibt seller Daag. Er waar hatt gegratzt un verschunne in all iwwer schteif. Er hot sei Hosse verrisse ghat un hot sei Sackuhr verbroche, hot sei Brill verlore un hot’s net gewisst. Die Brill leit datt im Barig ammenents un wann der Parre mol besser fiehlt, maag er geh sie suche.

Sell waar es letscht mol as der Parre gange waar Raguune yaage un er hot’s sei Lewes lang net vergesse.

Der Sam hot die Gschicht aa net vergesse kenne un hot meh as eemol der Lucy gsaat, “Dem Parre sie Dummheide hedde der ganz Barig weck brenne kenne. Mit all seiner Lanning waar er doch zu dumm fer Raguune yaage. Yeder sott ewwe zu seim eegne Leescht schticke.”

***

Hunting For Raccoons

Sam Droschel was an energetic raccoon hunter and was a member of the Lutheran Church at Stone Hill. They had a rather old preacher and he often visited at Sam’s place. It was said that the preacher visited Sam so often because Lucy, Sam’s wife set such a good table.

One Monday evening at suppertime, the preacher came on a visit and Lucy had just cooked raccoon potpie. This tasted so good that he took several helpings. The preacher remarked, “There is nothing better than rabbit potpie in the fall.” Sam and Lucy smiled a bit, but they did not give away the secret.

After the meal, the preacher said, “Sam, I often wanted to go raccoon hunting with you. I know that you would look after me and I know that you are a frequent hunter and know the mountain well.” “Yes, well,” said Sam, “I’m planning to go hunting on Wednesday evening if the weather permits and you’re welcome to come along.”

So as planned, the preacher was there in plenty of time. Sam had a Coleman lantern and lighted a coal oil lantern and gave it to the preacher to carry so that he could see where to walk. So they went toward the mountain and in about an hour the hounds found a raccoon scent and began to bark and the hunt was on. Sam was accustomed to running in the woods, but the preacher wasn’t and he fell a few times and skinned his leg on a boulder. The hounds ran faster and faster after the raccoon and Sam kept up with them, but the preacher fell far behind. Sam waited until the preacher had caught up; then he said, “I’ll follow the hounds until they tree the raccoon. You can see my light and can catch up.”

“Yes, well,” said the preacher, “I’ll take my time and slowly catch up.” But the more excitedly the hounds bayed, the more excited the preacher became. All of a sudden Sam saw that there was more light in the woods. As he looked back, he saw the preacher’s lantern lying there in the leaves and the leaves were burning. Sam quickly ran to the spot and beat out the flames with his coat, but he saw nothing of the preacher. Pretty soon he heard the preacher’s voice from a distance of twenty feet up above in a chestnut tree. “Come down,” said Sam, “and tell me what happened here. Why was your lantern lying here in the leaves?”

“Oh,” said the preacher, “I fell over a stump, tore my pants and skinned both knees. How I got up into this tree I don’t know and I don’t know how I’ll come down again either.”

“Now listen to me,” said Sam, “put your two arms around the tree and hold fast. Then let yourself slide down slowly.” “Yes, well,” said the preacher, “and now I remember that I got here the same way, but how I slid up into the tree I’ll never know.”

The preacher was trembling in fear. Finally Sam climbed up to him and got a good hold on the preacher by his two feet. “Now,” said Sam, “hold tight with your two arms and I’ll pull you down.”

Soon they were both on the ground again. The hounds were barking up a tree far away; the preacher was in a cold sweat. Sam was tempted a bit (to continue the hunt), but they left the dogs in the lurch and Sam took the preacher home. From there Sam drove the preacher home in the preacher’s carriage. The preacher was too nervous (trembling) to drive.

When they arrived at home, the preacher’s wife was angry and made him go straight to bed. The next morning, she came to Sam and told him that the preacher would remain in bed that day. He had been severely scratched and skinned and was stiff all over. He had torn his pants, had broken his pocketwatch, had lost his glasses and was unaware of it. The glasses were lying somewhere on the mountain and once the preacher feels better, he may go looking for them.

That was the last time the preacher went raccoon hunting and for the rest of his life he never forgot the experience.

It was also impossible for Sam to forget the story and more than once he said to Lucy, “On account of the preacher’s ignorance, the whole mountain could have burned away. With all his education, he was too ignorant to hunt for raccoons. Each one should stick to his own (shoemaker’s) last (trade).

January 9, 1985

Yuscht en Bischli-Gnippli